“Dude, Juba Can Mess You Up Big Time!”

Still pretty excited about going back home, I fired up my yahoo messenger to talk to friends, returnees like myself, who are now based in Juba. After a inquiring of the zillionth time how Juba was, wanting to hear “ooh it’s soo exciting, u should just come..“, I did not know what to think when this lady popped my almost perfect homecoming bubble when she said:

“Dude, Juba can mess u up big time!”

Okay, I took a breathe and tried to relax… I really tried… but all the while I keep thinking that right now, she was the only person messing up with my homecoming make believe dream that Juba will be just fine…  

A couple of days later, her caution started to make more sense. Juba will of course not have most of the things I gotten myself accustomed to in the west like efficient public services etc. With the neighbourhood cock becoming my wakeup call and morning alarm, I will have to get used to taking a cold morning bath the old African way. I’ll have to relearn to use a pit-latrine and forget those valuable moments I spent in the toilet doing my business while reading a magazine or a book. I will also have to get used to the IBM (isha’alla, bukra, malish) syndrome in Juba where everything is done by the grace of God (insha’alla), tomorrow (bukra) and if not, sorry (malish) and the cycle begins all over again. I will also have to learn to work at a phase that’s only known to Juba, take 3 hours lunch breaks and maybe booze during working hours.

But these exercises seem more like adaptations than drastic changes that could mess up ones life… so, what did my friend mean exactly?

They say the lifestyle in Juba could catch you with your pants down if your eyes are not wide open. Apart from being expensive, a fact mostly emphasized by new comers and visitors, Juba can be soo depressing and uplifting at the same time. You can hate it to the extent that you love it soo much… does that make since?

Okay, let’s establish a fact before proceding any further: Juba can indeed mess you up! Yes it can…

But will it? A returnee like myself with no euros in the pocket but only pure love of the county, will Juba dare to mess me up?

“Yes dude, Juba WILL mess you up, biiig time!” says the not so optimistic and not so enthusiastic voice in me.

“When you get to Juba, you will jobless, penniless and clueless.” the Voice continues. “You will be hit by malaria and Dr. Konyokonyo will not be able to help you… you will get ‘friends’ who booze every working day and you won’t be able to resist the charms of banat ta Juba (the girls of Juba)… you, my friend, will be messed up big time!”